Around The Kitchen Table: How To Avoid Family Conflict In Succession Planning Conversations
Monday, August 3, 2026
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Humans are difficult; mathematics is easy. Mathematics is binary. Humans are not. We’re emotional.”
— Derryn Shrosbree
Succession planning can be a complex financial process. But according to the team at Farmstrong, navigating the ups and downs of family relationships can be even harder.
Often, the biggest challenges come up during conversations around the kitchen table. And those family talks can unite or fracture farming families if not handled with care.
"It's the family dynamics and communication that can be the hardest part," said podcast host Tracey Brunet, who recently sat down with Farmstrong founder Derryn Shrosbree and family facilitator Sarah Stamp to discuss why succession planning is as much about people as it is about paperwork.
Farmstrong has built its reputation as a one-stop succession planning firm, bringing together accounting, legal, financial and insurance expertise under one roof. But the team also recognizes that successful transitions require something equally important: helping families navigate difficult conversations.
For Stamp, whose background combines psychology, kinesiology, therapeutic facilitation and DISC behavioural profiling, the work has always been about people. That’s why she joined the Farmstrong team.
"I love people and I love those conversations," she said. "I like to have one-on-one conversations and I like to talk about what really matters to people."
One of the tools Stamp brings to Farmstrong is the DISC behavioural assessment, a practical framework that helps families better understand how each person communicates, makes decisions and responds to conflict.
D = Dominance
I = Influence
S = Steadiness
C = Conscientious
Some personalities are naturally direct and results-driven, while others focus on relationships, collaboration or careful analysis before acting.
"Every person is a little bit of all four styles," Stamp explained. "When families understand those differences, they stop seeing them as personality flaws and start recognizing them as strengths that, together, make the business stronger.”
After joining her husband's family farm nearly 20 years ago, Stamp experienced succession firsthand.
"It became clear that succession is part of a much bigger conversation," she explained. "Business governance is part of it too. We need to understand who we are in order to understand the people around us."
That understanding begins by recognizing the roles people unconsciously bring into difficult conversations. For example, saying “I’m just the baby of the family” can interfere with equal representation among the siblings.
"I like to say the 'justs'," get in the way Stamp said. “So many times I hear - ‘I'm just the mom.' 'I'm just the younger brother.' If we can take those 'justs' out of the conversation and recognize what hats we're wearing, our family hat or our professional hat, it would completely change the way our farm conversations happen."
Brunet acknowledged that reality from her own experience.
"There's so much baggage with family, isn't there? I've been at family functions where I flash back and judge people according to who they were years ago. I can only imagine how much of that old baggage comes up in a heated conversation."
Those emotional layers are exactly what Shrosbree encounters every day.
"There's past traumas, there's future worries and there's present hope," he said. "Humans are difficult; mathematics is easy. Mathematics is binary. Humans are not. We're emotional, and sitting around the kitchen table often becomes emotional because everyone brings different experiences and expectations."
"Often there are two strong personalities who get stuck," Shrosbree said. "That's when you need WD-40 to unstick the family. That's what we lovingly call Sarah… the WD-40 of the Farmstrong team,” he says with a smile.
One of the most common challenges, Stamp says, is creating enough psychological safety for honest conversations.
"You have to have the right voices at the right table," she said. "What direction does the senior generation want to go? Are we keeping the business together? How do we keep this farm moving? Fair is not always equal."
She recalls working with one family where a son quietly believed he would carry the entire burden of the farm after his parents stepped away. "But once the family sat down together, talked openly and created solutions, it relieved so much of that anxiety," she said.
Sometimes those conversations must begin by acknowledging old wounds.
"You have to be completely honest," Stamp explained. "Families have to recognize where people have been hurt, but they also have to allow others the opportunity to apologize. You don't know what you don't know."
Shrosbree believes assumptions are equally dangerous.
"I often ask parents, 'Have you actually asked your kids what they want?' They say, 'Oh, I know what they want.' But they don't. Assumptions build the gap between generations."
Ironically, he says, the answer parents give most often when asked about their priority has little to do with money. "They tell me, 'I want the kids to have dinner together and still be close after we're gone.'"
Helping the senior generation redefine its purpose is another critical part of the process. Rather than stepping aside completely, Stamp encourages families to create advisory roles that preserve decades of wisdom while allowing younger generations to lead.
Ultimately, Farmstrong believes succession planning isn't simply about transferring assets.
It's about preserving relationships, protecting family harmony, and ensuring the kitchen table remains a place where honest conversations can happen for generations to come.
After joining her husband's family farm nearly 20 years ago, Stamp experienced succession firsthand.
"It became clear that succession is part of a much bigger conversation," she explained. "Business governance is part of it too. We need to understand who we are in order to understand the people around us."
That understanding begins by recognizing the roles people unconsciously bring into difficult conversations. For example, saying “I’m just the baby of the family” can interfere with equal representation among the siblings.
"I like to say the 'justs'," get in the way Stamp said. “So many times I hear - ‘I'm just the mom.' 'I'm just the younger brother.' If we can take those 'justs' out of the conversation and recognize what hats we're wearing, our family hat or our professional hat, it would completely change the way our farm conversations happen."
Brunet acknowledged that reality from her own experience.
"There's so much baggage with family, isn't there? I've been at family functions where I flash back and judge people according to who they were years ago. I can only imagine how much of that old baggage comes up in a heated conversation."
Those emotional layers are exactly what Shrosbree encounters every day.
"There's past traumas, there's future worries and there's present hope," he said. "Humans are difficult; mathematics is easy. Mathematics is binary. Humans are not. We're emotional, and sitting around the kitchen table often becomes emotional because everyone brings different experiences and expectations."
"Often there are two strong personalities who get stuck," Shrosbree said. "That's when you need WD-40 to unstick the family. That's what we lovingly call Sarah… the WD-40 of the Farmstrong team,” he says with a smile.
One of the most common challenges, Stamp says, is creating enough psychological safety for honest conversations.
"You have to have the right voices at the right table," she said. "What direction does the senior generation want to go? Are we keeping the business together? How do we keep this farm moving? Fair is not always equal."
She recalls working with one family where a son quietly believed he would carry the entire burden of the farm after his parents stepped away. "But once the family sat down together, talked openly and created solutions, it relieved so much of that anxiety," she said.
Sometimes those conversations must begin by acknowledging old wounds.
"You have to be completely honest," Stamp explained. "Families have to recognize where people have been hurt, but they also have to allow others the opportunity to apologize. You don't know what you don't know."
Shrosbree believes assumptions are equally dangerous.
"I often ask parents, 'Have you actually asked your kids what they want?' They say, 'Oh, I know what they want.' But they don't. Assumptions build the gap between generations."
Ironically, he says, the answer parents give most often when asked about their priority has little to do with money. "They tell me, 'I want the kids to have dinner together and still be close after we're gone.'"
Helping the senior generation redefine its purpose is another critical part of the process. Rather than stepping aside completely, Stamp encourages families to create advisory roles that preserve decades of wisdom while allowing younger generations to lead.
Ultimately, Farmstrong believes succession planning isn't simply about transferring assets.
It's about preserving relationships, protecting family harmony, and ensuring the kitchen table remains a place where honest conversations can happen for generations to come.
